The Hidden Anxiety of Masks

The Pressure to Pretend

Have you ever caught yourself answering “I’m fine” when someone asks how you’re doing—even though you’re anything but fine? Or maybe you’ve walked into church with a smile plastered on your face, while inside your heart is aching. Or perhaps you’ve been in a work meeting, nodding along with confidence, all the while hoping no one notices how overwhelmed you really feel.

That’s what it means to wear a mask. Not the kind you buy at a store, but the invisible one you use to cover what you don’t want others to see.

Masks seem safe. They shield us from rejection. They help us fit in. They create the illusion of control. But behind the mask lies a gnawing anxiety. Because every time we put one on, we silently ask: “If they knew the real me, would they still accept me?”

And that question never goes away. It lurks in the background of our conversations, our friendships, and even our prayers.

Why We Wear Masks

There are many reasons we reach for masks:

• Fear of rejection. We don’t want to lose people’s approval.

• Past wounds. If we were mocked or dismissed for being vulnerable, we learn to hide.

• Perfectionism. We think we need to appear strong, capable, and unshakable.

• Comparison. Social media and culture pressure us to project an image of “having it all together.”

But at the root of all these reasons is one simple lie: “The real you isn’t lovable.”

That lie comes straight from the enemy. Jesus said of Satan:

“When he lies, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44, MEV)

If Satan can convince us that we must always wear a mask, he keeps us from resting in God’s love. Instead of living free, we live on edge—always wondering when the mask will slip.

The Weight of Pretending

Pretending may work for a while, but it takes a toll. It drains emotional energy, creates distance in relationships, and keeps us from experiencing peace. It’s like holding your breath for too long—you can only do it until your body forces you to exhale.

The anxiety that comes with masks often shows up in sleepless nights, restless thoughts, or the nagging sense that we’re “faking it” in life. And Satan loves that restlessness. He uses it to whisper, “See? You really aren’t enough.”

But here’s the good news: God already knows the real you—and He still calls you His own.

God Sees Behind the Mask

The psalmist declared:

“I will praise You, for You made me with fear and wonder; marvelous are Your works, and You know me completely.” (Psalm 139:14, MEV)

God knows you completely. That means every doubt, every hidden struggle, every unspoken fear is already visible to Him. And instead of turning away, He calls you marvelous.

Think about that: the very things you hide from people are already seen by God. And His verdict is not rejection but love.

The Samaritan Woman: Unmasked at the Well

In John 4, Jesus encounters a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well. She comes at noon—the hottest part of the day—likely to avoid the shame and gossip of the townspeople. She carries more than her water jar; she carries the mask of avoidance.

When Jesus begins to speak with her, He quickly pierces through the mask:

“Jesus said to her, ‘Go, call your husband, and come here.’ The woman answered, ‘I have no husband.’ Jesus said to her, ‘You are right in saying, “I have no husband.” For you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband. So what you have said is true.’” (John 4:16–18, MEV)

Imagine the shock. For years she had hidden in isolation, wearing the mask of avoidance. But here was a man who saw her completely. And instead of shaming her, He offered living water—eternal life in Him.

That moment unmasked her in the best possible way. So much so that she left her water jar behind and ran into the city proclaiming: “Come, see a man who told me all things that I ever did. Could this be the Christ?” (John 4:29, MEV).

The very things she tried to hide became her testimony of grace.

Jesus and Masks Today

Jesus still meets us at our wells—those places we retreat to when we want to avoid others. And He still says, “I see you completely. And I love you still.”

When you realize God already knows the unfiltered you, you no longer need to hide. The cross proves it:

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, MEV)

Christ didn’t die for the version of you that looks polished and put together. He died for the real you.

Practical Steps to Drop the Mask

Taking off the mask doesn’t happen overnight, but it is possible with God’s help. Here are some steps to begin:

1. Acknowledge the Mask. Be honest with yourself about when and why you put it on. Example: “I pretend I’m fine at church because I don’t want people to think I’m weak.”

2. Name the Lie. Identify the false belief driving the mask. Often it’s something like, “If people knew the real me, they would reject me.”

3. Replace It with Truth. Counter the lie with Scripture. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

4. Practice Safe Honesty. Find one trusted friend, counselor, or mentor where you can let the mask slip. Healing begins in safe spaces.

5. Rest in God’s Gaze. Spend time in prayer with Psalm 139. Ask God to help you believe His verdict over you: loved, known, chosen.

6. Celebrate Small Steps. Every time you choose honesty over pretense, thank God. Over time, the need for masks weakens.

   
   

A Modern Example

A young mom I know admitted that every Sunday she felt the need to look “perfect” at church—her kids dressed just right, her smile in place, her answers upbeat. But inside she was overwhelmed and lonely.

When she finally opened up to a trusted friend about her struggles, she expected judgment. Instead, her friend responded, “Me too.” That simple exchange shattered the lie that she had to pretend.

From then on, she began to let people see the real her—not always cheerful, not always composed, but always loved by God. And in that honesty, she found rest.

Reflection Questions

• What mask do you find yourself wearing most often?

• What lie fuels that mask, and what truth from Scripture can replace it?

• Who is one safe person you could begin practicing honest vulnerability with this week?

  
  

A Closing Prayer

Lord, You see me completely, even the parts of me I try to hide. Thank You that Your love does not shrink back but embraces me as I am. Forgive me for believing the lie that I must wear masks to be accepted. Teach me to rest in Your truth, to live unmasked before You, and to find courage to be real with others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Final Encouragement

Friend, masks may feel safe, but they keep you from the peace God wants for you. The enemy wants you restless, always pretending. But God says: “You are marvelous in My sight. I know you completely, and I love you still.”

Take off the mask. Breathe deep. Rest in His gaze. You are already known, and you are already loved.