When our worth is measured in likes instead of love
A World Obsessed with Itself
Look around: people snapping selfies at every moment—coffee cups, workout mirrors, special events, ordinary days. What once seemed harmless has become a mirror of something deeper: our craving to be seen, validated, and known. The front-facing camera promised closeness, but it often delivers exposure—and emptiness.
Our technology was meant to connect us, but too often it leads us into comparison. The “selfie” is not simply a picture—it’s a question: Do you see me? Do you like me? Do I matter? And every like, comment, share becomes its own small verdict. We might scroll believing it’s harmless, but as science and Scripture show, the question of worth and identity is being quietly reshaped.
The paradox is stark: as we chase visibility, clarity of identity slips away. We become less rooted yet more visible. Our worth becomes a metric instead of a gift. In this post we’ll explore how selfie culture affects our brains and souls, how it amplifies comparison, and how the gospel invites us into an identity far deeper than any social feed.
The Psychology of the Selfie
Selfies are more than casual snapshots—they’re markers of identity in a digital age. Research confirms that for many, the act of taking and posting selfies is tightly bound up with concerns of self-presentation and peer feedback. A 2021 study found that adolescents who heavily invest in selfie-editing, posting, and feedback have higher levels of peer-feedback concern and self-objectification. PMC
Why does this matter? Because each selfie becomes a mini-performance. Each post invites approval, and each like becomes a validation of worth. The brain responds. The same circuits that process reward and social feedback—areas including the ventral striatum—light up when selfies receive high engagement. The more we depend on external signals, the more our internal sense of identity becomes contingent on them.
That’s where the danger lies: when worth is tied to metrics, not to meaning. When the “I” becomes what viewers see, rather than who you are in the gaze of God. Neuroscience suggests that the more we submit our identity to these external validations, the greater the risk of anxiety, emptiness, and identity drift.
The Social Mirror – How Comparison Shapes the Brain
The phenomenon of selfies intersects with what psychologists call social comparison theory. In simple terms: we evaluate ourselves by comparing to others. In digital culture this happens constantly. We see polished feeds, filtered moments, peak-highlight reels—and we measure ourselves against them.
Empirical research supports the weight of this. One study in China found that selfie behavior directly predicted social anxiety, mediated by social comparison and body image. Frontiers In other words: more selfie-posting → more comparing → worse body image / higher anxiety. Another meta-analysis found strong links between self-presentation online and depression, especially when appearance and approval were involved.
What’s happening neurologically? Brain imaging shows that social rejection and negative social comparison activate many of the same brain regions as physical pain—our neural networks treat “not measuring up” like something dangerous. The social mirror becomes a threat field, not just a reflective surface.
And yet, in a world flooded with images, we still chase the perfect one, thinking it will prove we matter. But comparison trains the mind to look outward—to metrics, filters, mirrors—instead of inward, to relationship, presence, and truth.
The Digital Identity Crisis
Because our identity is so easily curated and projected online, we live in a paradox of hypervisibility and deep invisibility. On one hand, we are broadcasting constantly; on the other hand, our true selves become hidden behind filters, edits and algorithm-friendly moments. The curated self often loses connection with the real self.
Studies of selfie culture show this clearly. For example, analysis of editing and posting behaviors revealed that the more users retouch and filter their images, the more likely they are to have lower self-esteem and self-perceived attractiveness. BioMed Central+1 In effect, we spend time crafting a version of ourselves that the algorithm rewards—and the more we reward that version, the further we drift from our authentic selves.
Scripture speaks to this duality of self. In Ephesians 4:22-24 Paul calls believers to put off the “old self” and put on the “new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” The challenge in a digital age is that the “old self” isn’t just sin—it’s the performance self, the self-as-seen-by-others, the self-that-needs-likes-to-live. The “new self” requires rootedness in the gaze of God, not the scroll of followers.
This digital identity crisis feeds anxiety, indecision, and restlessness. When our worth is shifting by the second (notifications, follower count, mirror), we lose the ground of “who we are.” And without a steady identity, every feed becomes a search for something missing.
Biblical Anthropology – Made in God's Image, Not Our Own
Amid all this digital turbulence, the Bible anchors us: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27) We bear God’s image. Our identity begins there—not in a filter or a feed.
To be an “image-bearer” means our significance comes from the One who made us, not from what we make of ourselves. The selfie culture flips this upside down: we become image-makers, trying to craft a self-image that pleases others rather than reflecting the image of God.
Jeremiah 2:13 captures the heart of this misalignment: “They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” The curated self is one of those broken cisterns—it demands endless maintenance and still fails to satisfy.
In contrast, Jesus says to the woman at the well: “Whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst” (John 4:14). He invites us into an identity grounded in him, not in the pattern of this world. Our worth is not defined by likes or followers, but by the voice of the Father: “You are my beloved” (Mark 1:11). That is what shapes true self-worth.
The Spiral of Shame and the Need for Approval
When identity is tied to feedback, a vicious spiral often follows: we post → we wait → we compare → we feel less → we post again. This cycle fosters shame, anxiety and chronic dissatisfaction.
Research from Nesi (2021) showed that the frequency of selfie-posting, when combined with heavy investment in feedback and editing, correlates strongly with self-objectification and lower self-esteem. PMC The mirror you hold up isn’t reflecting your authentic self—it’s reflecting others’ expectations and the algorithm’s demands.
The Bible warns of the dangers of human approval. Galatians 1:10 asks, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” The journey often begins with chasing human affirmation—and ends in neglecting God’s affirmation. Proverbs 29:25 warns, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare.”
When our image is built for Instagram and our worth fluctuates with notifications, we become unsettled. Our grounding shifts from “Christ in me” to “me in the feed.” That is a precarious identity.
Rediscovering True Identity in Christ
The gospel offers a radical re-orientation of identity: not built on what we show, but on who we belong to. Ephesians 2:10 reminds us: “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.” 1 Peter 2:9 proclaims: “You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation.”
These declarations don’t depend on likes, shares, or views—they depend on Christ. In Luke 12:6-7 Jesus reminds us that we are more valuable than many sparrows—God notices us. That counters the feed’s lie: you only matter when someone looks.
Practically, rediscovering identity means shifting from presenting to abiding:
Silence and solitude: not for performance, but for hearing the Father’s voice.
Gratitude journaling: listing ways God has affirmed you—not in numbers, but in relationship.
Confession and community: bringing the curated self into honest relationship, not just selfie-friendly moments.
Service over posting: seeing people rather than performing for them.
When identity is rooted in Christ, our self-image is not destabilized by algorithms or approval counts—it is grounded in the unchanging One.
Practical Renewal – Living Authentically in a Filtered World
Here are practical rhythms to reclaim authenticity in a culture of curated selves:
Digital simplicity: Delete or mute apps that trigger constant self-presentation or comparison. Limit social media time.
Photo-fast weekends: Choose one day each week with minimal posting. Use the time for real connection, not images.
Unfiltered self-portraits: Take pictures that reflect your real, imperfect self. Post them to remind yourself and others that you are valued beyond your edits.
Community sharing: In a small group, share moments of real life—not posed. Encourage vulnerability over perfection.
Mirror-check with Scripture: Before and after posting consider: Am I sharing this for approval or for connection?Use James 1:23-25: if you look into the perfect law of liberty and forget, you’re only a hearer. Be a doer.
These practices don’t guarantee instant freedom—but they align our lives with the One who sees us, loves us, and roots our identity in something deeper than a feed.
Rediscovering True Identity in Christ
The selfie is not the enemy—but when it becomes the measure of worth, it betrays its purpose. The problem is not a photo of ourselves; it is self-worship through photos.
God made you to reflect Him, not to perfect yourself. As you log off the feed tonight, remember: you are held by a gaze more steady than any camera lens. * “You are my beloved” *—not because of your likes, but because of His love.
Walk away from the mirror that demands applause and toward the One who applauds you simply because you are His.
Have you seen struggles in these areas yourself? What are some practices you have tried to help? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
This is the First post in an Eight Part Series entitled Faith and Focus: Following Jesus in an Age of Distraction. Please be sure to get the whole story by reading each post. I pray they are an encouragement to you.
Post 1: The Attention Crisis Nobody's Talking About
Post 2: The Dopamine Generation: How Our Phones Hijack the Reward System
Post 3: The Selfie Paradox: Identity in the Age of Comparison
Post 4: Gaming, Screens, and the Adrenaline Trap
Post 5 The Eyes of Man Are Never Satisfied: Content Overload and Spiritual Emptiness
Post 6: Redeeming Rest: The Biblical Art of Sabbath and Silence
Post 7: Beholding and Becoming: The Theology of Attention
Post 8: Renewing the Mind: A Practical Path Toward Digital Discipleship
Check back weekly for the next post.
Nesi, J. (2021). “Selfie Appearance Investment and Peer Feedback Concern.” PMC (PubMed Central). PMC
Barker, V. (2019). “The Selfie as a Personal and Social Identity Marker.” International Journal of Communication. IJOC
Ozimek, P., Lainas, S., Bierhoff, H.-W., Rohmann, E. (2023). “How photo editing in social media shapes self-perceived attractiveness and self-esteem via self-objectification and physical appearance comparisons.” BMC Psychology. BioMed Central
Liu, Y., et al. (2022). “Selfie behavior, social comparison, body image and social anxiety among youth in China.” Frontiers in Psychology. Frontiers
Fau University blog. “Social Media and How It Affects Our Self Image.” (2021). Florida Atlantic University
